To Browns Fans, With Love

It’s been awhile….you guys miss me? Working the night shift so I can pay student loans isn’t what I call living the dream…you know what I would rather be doing?

(this is where you say ‘what would you rather be doing bryan’)

…I’m glad you asked. I wish, like a lot of other collegiate athletes, that I could have graduated from college and played the sport I love professionally. Who doesn’t, right? Whether it be futbol, football, baseball, basketball, etc down the line. It’s the dream of nearly every collegiate athlete to go pro (unless you played at my college…couple kids just wanted drinking buddies) Everyone always asks, “IF you could play for one team who would it be?”

To me, that’s the easiest question in the world. The Cleveland Browns, right? A team I grew up watching as a young kid in Eastlake, OH (represent 440 whaaaat..ahem sorry). But lately, as I look around me I see things I never saw as a kid. As a kid I watched with my uncle Greg as the Cleveland Browns would play their hearts out to the fans who cheered their hearts out…..but back then…. I was blind, or deaf, to the voice of the disgruntled Cleveland Browns fan.

What We Need Now Is A Good Ol’ Fashioned Rapture

*if anyone would like the citations of the Bible and texts I used just ask*

Five months ago today it was all supposed to be all downhill. The “Lord” was to arrive with the sounding of a great trumpet and gather both the living and the dead. However, the man who made this prediction, Harold Camping, was wrong. Not to fret, he was only off by five months. Now after months of anticipation and all the preparations you Doomsday enthusiasts have made; its not looking so hot again.

“How could Harold Camping be wrong?! We have anxiously awaited the second coming of Jesus Christ so he may lift us up to Heaven and we may be absolved of any suffering during the End Times.”

What Ever Happened to Free Speech?

AH

On October 3, 2011, Hank Williams, Jr. appeared on the daily morning talk show, Fox and Friends. He was asked how he felt about the upcoming election and who he preferred in the GOP race. Williams, Jr. then, with what seemed like a Herculean effort, blurted, “Nobody.” He then went on to allegorically  associated a golf game between political party leaders with the likeness of Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu. (For those of you not certain who Netanyahu is; Benjamin Netanyahu is the current Prime Minister of Israel.)

Williams, Jr. continued by shouting, “OBAMA!”, in response to a request to explain whom he was referring to as the enemy. He made perfectly clear that the aforementioned golf game was the biggest political blunder, “ever.” Furthermore, Williams, Jr. reiterated time after time how against bipartisanship he was.

Today, October 5, 2011, Monday Night Football (product of ESPN, ultimately controlled by Disney), whom Hank had been the “voice and face” of since 1991,  essentially announced that they gave Ol’ Hank a corporation sized cowboy boot to the curb. Williams, Jr. has responded in anger declaring a violation of his 1st amendment rights (Free Speech), saying he himself has decided to leave. It seemed like a mutual departure. Regardless, when the story broke, a majority of the masses shared Williams, Jr.’s outrage. Their arguments also hinge on the value and more importantly the RIGHT of Free Speech.

Baseless reviews: fall 2011 TV shows

I’m lazy, I don’t have time to watch all of the new TV shows to form an accurate opinion for a proper review. Here’s where my “baseless review comes in”: I will go through a few sitcoms debuting this fall as listed by TV guide, watch their trailers on youtube, and then present my uninformed review. I haven’t seen any of these shows, and I’m not sure if they have premiered yet. The important parts of the show’s description will be bolded so if you’re lazy like me, you can just browse that shit if you want.

Bad advertising – part 1: Coors Light

Coors Light

Before we get started, I would like to say that I drink Coors Light, it’s my cheap beer of choice. However, I have never seen a Coors Light commercial (or Miller Lite/Bud Light, but that’ll be another post…), and thought “you know what? that’s a great point!”

Commercial: It’s really fucking cold!